I was going through my saved pictures today and found this one. I haven’t been posting much recently because I’ve been doing things like bathing, which causes me to sleep for the next 2 days or so after. Chronic fatigue was something I could never really grasp. So, you’re tired all the time? Yeah, me too, I have that! No. No, no no no. Chronic fatigue is being so freaking tired you actually feel like you are dying. Like the very act of standing up will suck the life out of you. It sounds hyperbolic and dramatic, both of which I use extremely often so it can be hard to tell when I am being serious or not, but this is for real. There is nothing quite like chronic fatigue and I have dealt with some weird and fucked up body not working right type things in my life time. This is among the worst of it though. If it came to getting rid of the fatigue or the chronic pain I honestly don’t know which I’d choose.
I think being open and honest about what I am going through is important. Not many people are open about their illnesses for fear of being judged as an attention seeker or a whiner. Those are things I have been accused of, plus so much more, but on the opposite side there are the people who actually pay attention to what I have to say and have thanked me for being so open because they have learned so much through me. The more of us who are open the more awareness and less hate there will be toward those of us living will chronic illness, especially those of us who have ‘invisible illnesses’.
When people can’t physically see something, they tend not to believe you. I look healthy and happy on the outside and because I try very hard to overcompensate for my illness you cannot tell that I am sick by looking at me. The only people who can tell are the people who deal with me every day because there are behavioral and personality changes depending on how much pain I’m in, how tired I am, etc. Anyone, absolutely anyone could have an invisible illness. Say you see someone park in a handicap parking space who looks perfectly healthy, yes they may be an asshole taking advantage, but chances are they are someone like me who does not show their illness on the outside. They may have a fainting disorder, maybe they can’t walk long distances, there are so many variables and by being open I’m hoping that I will cause a few people to be a little more open minded about things like this.
I just really want to help people and if my only way to do that is from my bed, I’m still going to do whatever I can.
If you think you are sick and no one is taking you seriously, please do what you can for yourself. Know that if you need information or even just someone to talk to their are huge communities online that are set up to help you with whatever you may need. I tend to do a lot of lurking, but knowing that people are going through the same situations, having similar symptoms, why they are having those symptoms, and so much more has been a huge relief. You are not alone. Even if no one IRL is there for you, there are people who care and know exactly how you feel out there. It’s hard to find people who will support you through a chronic illness. People don’t seem to like the ‘chronic’ part of it and unfortunately you will lose friends, family members will become distant, and dating will be nearly impossible, but there are good people out there. I promise.
The funny thing is, if we called chronic illness Cancer it would get a lot more attention. Everyone groups together and supports you through cancer no matter how benign or how critical it is. Chronic illness? It’s lonely. And often times worse than Cancer. I will probably die from complications from my illness. Sooner or later, something will go wrong with some part of my body and I will die. Cancer? You can survive that, which is an amazing and inspiring thing. You can fix cancer. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time you can. Some disease are also much more painful than cancer. My disease has been compared to a lifetime of chemo therapy by cancer survivors who also have ehlers-danlos or a lifetime of lymes disease related pain. I’m not sure if that is factoring in subluxations or dislocations, but the chronic pain we experience is pretty nasty on a day to day basis. There needs to be more awareness. There has to be more awareness.
I’ve seen too many people commit suicide this year because they aren’t being heard. They aren’t being taken seriously. They’re families have abandoned them and they have no support at home. They’re doctors are poorly educated. They’re doctors don’t know enough to get them the help they need. Things need to be done, things need to change. I’ll take a few side-eyes and gossip if I can change a mind or two in the process.
Here’s a gif of my tummy trick to get off the seriousness that I just typed up.
Here’s a cool finger trick too. Hypermobility and stretchy collagen makes for some neat body tricks. Don’t do this at home though, it’s bad for your joints.
This was originally made to show what fibro looks like, but many people with connective tissue diseases can also relate to this image. A lot of us also have fibro as a co-morbidity of our illnesses as well.
Sorry this wasn’t about makeup and it was so long. I have a review for the Electric Palette sitting in my drafts, but I’m going to add an eye look to it to spice it up a bit before posting.