Living with Chronic Illness: Random Ill-Facts and Justification of ‘Attention Seeking’

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I was going through my saved pictures today and found this one. I haven’t been posting much recently because I’ve been doing things like bathing, which causes me to sleep for the next 2 days or so after. Chronic fatigue was something I could never really grasp. So, you’re tired all the time? Yeah, me too, I have that! No. No, no no no. Chronic fatigue is being so freaking tired you actually feel like you are dying. Like the very act of standing up will suck the life out of you. It sounds hyperbolic and dramatic, both of which I use extremely often so it can be hard to tell when I am being serious or not, but this is for real. There is nothing quite like chronic fatigue and I have dealt with some weird and fucked up body not working right type things in my life time. This is among the worst of it though. If it came to getting rid of the fatigue or the chronic pain I honestly don’t know which I’d choose.

I think being open and honest about what I am going through is important. Not many people are open about their illnesses for fear of being judged as an attention seeker or a whiner. Those are things I have been accused of, plus so much more, but on the opposite side there are the people who actually pay attention to what I have to say and have thanked me for being so open because they have learned so much through me. The more of us who are open the more awareness and less hate there will be toward those of us living will chronic illness, especially those of us who have ‘invisible illnesses’.

When people can’t physically see something, they tend not to believe you. I look healthy and happy on the outside and because I try very hard to overcompensate for my illness you cannot tell that I am sick by looking at me. The only people who can tell are the people who deal with me every day because there are behavioral and personality changes depending on how much pain I’m in, how tired I am, etc. Anyone, absolutely anyone could have an invisible illness. Say you see someone park in a handicap parking space who looks perfectly healthy, yes they may be an asshole taking advantage, but chances are they are someone like me who does not show their illness on the outside. They may have a fainting disorder, maybe they can’t walk long distances, there are so many variables and by being open I’m hoping that I will cause a few people to be a little more open minded about things like this.

I just really want to help people and if my only way to do that is from my bed, I’m still going to do whatever I can.

If you think you are sick and no one is taking you seriously, please do what you can for yourself. Know that if you need information or even just someone to talk to their are huge communities online that are set up to help you with whatever you may need. I tend to do a lot of lurking, but knowing that people are going through the same situations, having similar symptoms, why they are having those symptoms, and so much more has been a huge relief. You are not alone. Even if no one IRL is there for you, there are people who care and know exactly how you feel out there. It’s hard to find people who will support you through a chronic illness. People don’t seem to like the ‘chronic’ part of it and unfortunately you will lose friends, family members will become distant, and dating will be nearly impossible, but there are good people out there. I promise.

The funny thing is, if we called chronic illness Cancer it would get a lot more attention. Everyone groups together and supports you through cancer no matter how benign or how critical it is. Chronic illness? It’s lonely. And often times worse than Cancer. I will probably die from complications from my illness. Sooner or later, something will go wrong with some part of my body and I will die. Cancer? You can survive that, which is an amazing and inspiring thing. You can fix cancer. Not all of the time, but a lot of the time you can. Some disease are also much more painful than cancer. My disease has been compared to a lifetime of chemo therapy by cancer survivors who also have ehlers-danlos or a lifetime of lymes disease related pain. I’m not sure if that is factoring in subluxations or dislocations, but the chronic pain we experience is pretty nasty on a day to day basis. There needs to be more awareness. There has to be more awareness.

I’ve seen too many people commit suicide this year because they aren’t being heard. They aren’t being taken seriously. They’re families have abandoned them and they have no support at home. They’re doctors are poorly educated. They’re doctors don’t know enough to get them the help they need. Things need to be done, things need to change. I’ll take a few side-eyes and gossip if I can change a mind or two in the process.

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H
ere’s a gif of my tummy trick to get off the seriousness that I just typed up. hypermobility
Here’s a cool finger trick too. Hypermobility and stretchy collagen makes for some neat body tricks. Don’t do this at home though, it’s bad for your joints.
EDS1
This was originally made to show what fibro looks like, but many people with connective tissue diseases can also relate to this image. A lot of us also have fibro as a co-morbidity of our illnesses as well.

Sorry this wasn’t about makeup and it was so long. I have a review for the Electric Palette sitting in my drafts, but I’m going to add an eye look to it to spice it up a bit before posting.

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20 thoughts on “Living with Chronic Illness: Random Ill-Facts and Justification of ‘Attention Seeking’

  1. plus+beauty27

    Thank you so much for sharing! I too suffer from Chronic Illness. I have Fibromyalgia and Sjogren’s Syndrome which is an autoimmune disease that is also a connective tissue/painful disease. It’s nice to have others out here on the internet for support. 🙂 xo Do you mind if I reblog this? Such a great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. slutoverlord Post author

      A fellow spoonie! You are definitely welcome to reblog if you would like. As much as it sucks that there are other sick people out there it’s so nice to know that there are people who understand what it is like and share similar interests! Thank you so much<3

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      1. plus+beauty27

        Oh I agree completely! Thank you so much! I definitely understand what it’s like and it does really suck like you said. It’s nice to know I am not alone 🙂 I talk about it briefly on my blog but it feels like what you wrote in your post really says it all. Thank you so much for sharing that! ❤ xo

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  2. Kaily

    I think you are very brave. And I agree that people have a hard time trusting what they can’t see. But I also believe that many people live life with their heads up their own assess 😉 This was a great post and I’m looking forward to the eye look and the electric palette!

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  3. plus+beauty27

    Reblogged this on Plus+ Beauty and commented:
    As someone who lives with Chronic Illness myself, I felt that this post really says a lot about it. It’s nice to know you’re not alone and that there are other’s out there with similar interests. So I thought I would share this wonderful post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. qualitytimes7

    My daughter is going through some similar issues and standing on the outside looking in it is very hard to understand, but it still requires us not to judge and be supportive. Wishing you love and happiness on your journey.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. slutoverlord Post author

      I’m so sorry your daughter is having issues with being ill. Having a mother like yourself who is supportive and wants to understand is something so special. You’ll help her a lot just by being there for her! Thank you for being such a good mom!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Abi Brown

    Very inspiring and brave!! It is annoying that people dismiss invisible illnesses, just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Amazing post 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. haticedogan

    Thaaank you for posting this! I don’t have the same disease as you but I do have lymphangioma its a ‘good tumor’ to my tongue and lymphnodes. I’ve had it since I was born and I had to learn how to tal properly, thank god I can, but I feel very different because you can see the tumor. Do you have the same feeling or is it a relief because as you said no one can see it but it’s still there.

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    1. slutoverlord Post author

      Thank you for telling me about lymphangioma. I like learning about things like this and being aware of what other people have to deal with. I think I know how you feel, I have a very large scar from my neck to my bum from spine surgery and it’s very visible, especially in the summer, but I can usually hide it if I need to. I’m also a wheelchair user, there are some similarities and I’m sure anyone who has an illness, disability, deformity, etc like we do has a lot of the same day to day worries and struggles. Thank you again for bring Lymphangioma to my attention, I’m going to do a bit of reading up on it.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Shopper Lottie

    I think that you are such an inspiration, it was amazing of you to open up and share this article to help others suffering in silence. I also suffered with a chronic illness and know how lonely and demoralising it can be. Would you mind if I interviewed you for my blog? I think your story would help people needing hope. Love, Lottie xx

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. slutoverlord Post author

      Thank you so much for the support! Everyone has been so wonderful and I am beyond grateful. You can absolutely interview me if you would like to, I love the idea of reaching out to more people who may need it. Would you like my email or other contact info? I’ve made most of my social media and gmail SlutOverlord because it made me laugh too much not to.

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  8. Bella's Shelf

    I saw this on another blog and I have to say I am so fucking grateful for this post. I have Hashimoto’s disease. Which is basically my body is attacking my thyroid and you need your thyroid for a lot of important shit.
    But anyways it’s probably been going on for many years. There was a point in time I was just so fucking tired all the time but I could literally sleep 20 hours a day!
    I’m taking the medicine now that supposed to help me and kick me in the ass -but I still sleep about 13 to 14 hours a day now -sometimes more if I can get away with it.
    I’ll be in the car going somewhere – I’ll fall asleep, we went on a beautiful fucking cruise last spring – I was asleep everywhere.
    People probably thought I was drunk. I drank one cool something in made in a pineapple drink, laid down next to the pool and was not woken up until dinner! I woke up it was dark and cold and everybody was dressed for dinner.
    I was pissed I was left there like that. But such is my condition . I am used to falling asleep everywhere. And it’s not a fun restful sleep. I wake up feeling sick I go to bed feeling sick. Some days I have to decide if I get up and I do these three chores I won’t be able to do these chores. If I do two loads of laundry I will not be able to take a bath – again. Needless to say I have become very comfortable with my au’natural smell.
    Going back to my doctor in February to see if I can get some type of speed injected into me on a daily basis or something. I am under the age of 40 and I feel like I am fucking 100 years old ready to die. So much of my life has been wasted. Okay that’s an exaggeration but I’ve been dealing with this for about 10 years now. It first came on in my late 20s.
    I have two dogs. One is a big dog that has to be walked no less than four times a day. The other one is a Chihuahua that can use his PP pads but that’s kind of mean to not let him go outside and P on everything and sniff everything and bark at everybody that walks by us.
    That’s his thing. He loves to bark at everybody and it makes me laugh.I can tell people hate him and that makes me even happier when he barks harder at them. They’re probably jerks anyways.
    So this whole Hashimotos thing made me consider finding my poor doggies a Nother home because of the sheer exhaustion I feel on a daily basis. Sometimes I wake up and I’m just like OH God can’t you just go use the toilet?
    I just don’t think people get it. We are not just “really fucking tired” we are just exhausted down to the fucking bone deeper than the bone. Every single tiny microscopic cell in my body is exhausted. My hair is exhausted. Going to P makes me take a nap. As far as applying make up and dressing up and doing my hair goes? Yeah right. It’s a good day when I can take a bath, put on clean clothes, brush my hair, and put on some lotion. I’m a freaking supermodel on those days!
    Thanks for listening to my rant. It’s so rare to find somebody in this blogger world and who gets it. So rare and when I find that person I know I must scare them away with my enthusiasm over finding them. That’s okay though. I’m telling you being tired all the time is turned me into a freak
    Thanks again and I’m glad that I found your blog and thank you so much for this post

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. slutoverlord Post author

      All of this is just, so so SO spot on. I just really know how you feel. And funnily enough, both my Sister and my Brother suffer from Hashimotos so I am acquainted with it and have watched them struggle with it, both in very different ways. Getting up, going to the bathroom let alone getting to put on makeup is a luxury, but it has made me grateful for the understanding it’s given me. I really truly hope there is something your doctor can do for you. I will send you and your Feb. appointment some good juju and thoughts. I’ve been delightfully surprised with how many people have reached out to me and it’s wonderful to know others who are also suffering from chronic illness. Not the fact that they are suffering, but the comfort in knowing we aren’t alone, aren’t crazy, and that our feelings are normal is cathartic as hell. Be well!

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